Every year when I was teaching seventh grade, our school administrators gave us some sort of inspirational poster or story or memento to keep in our classroom for encouragement throughout the year. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it backfired. I remember distinctly the year the nugget of inspiration came in the form of a very short story about a woman who woke up and only had three hairs on her head. She braided the three hairs and was happy. The next day she woke up and only had two hairs on her head. She parted them in the middle and was happy. The next day she woke up and only had one hair on her head. She wore it in a ponytail and was happy. The next day she woke up and had no hair left on her head. She said to herself, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!” And she was happy.
I’m pretty sure the point of the fable was to find the silver lining in everything and stay positive, but as the year wore on, I decided what it really meant was that teaching makes your hair fall out.
I share this memory as an explanation for why I subbed so much in May. Despite working more hours than usual at my library clerk job, completing a freelance project, and keeping up with my own writing, I still made time to substitute teach eight times at seven different middle schools. Why? Because I know what May is like for teachers. At this time of year, they’re lucky if they have any hair left at all and they need a break. I know that all of those half days, sick days, personal days, and I-just-can’t-today days are well-deserved. I’m happy to step in and help.
The end of my year of subbing was just as interesting as the beginning. I watched Inside Out three times, The Lost World twice, and Scared Shrekless once. (That one was awesome.) One day I arrived to my classroom to find a bag of raw chicken on my desk. (It turned out there was a reasonable explanation for it that had nothing to do with Satanic rituals or mean pranks.) One day when some seventh grade science students playing a card game suddenly erupted into loud yells, I went over to investigate, only to have a boy calmly explain, “Sorry. I got AIDS.” (The card game was called “Defend Yourself” and was from their unit on the immune system.) And during the last half hour of my very last sub job, an eighth grade girl asked me, “Can I go ride my unicycle in the courtyard for Ms. Smith?”
Sometimes I think I’ve been asked everything in my teaching career, but that was a new one.
I think the best way to demonstrate what subbing at the end of the school year looks like and close out my Adventures in Subbing series is with a photo documentary. Here is a look back at my last six weeks of subbing, in pictures.
Creepy mural on the wall of an art classroom
Semi-creepy box-creature in a social skills classroom
Sometimes subbing looks like this… during STAAR testing, I spent four hours monitoring the boys’ bathroom (one boy at a time, no talking in line). I was able to read an entire issue of Writer’s Digest during my shift. It was awesome.
Scare tactics– cheesy when I was a kid, still cheesy today.
One school where I worked had goats and sunflowers. 🙂 I like that school.
Angry note taped to the door of the faculty restroom. The person who wrote this has zero hairs left.
I subbed in the classroom with this friendly creature on May the 4th, otherwise known as Star Wars Day. Two teachers at the school were in Star Wars cosplay. Later, in my class, a group of boys gave their science activity a Star Wars theme. I asked them if they’d seen the teachers in costume. One boy said, “Yeah, I was psyched that I knew Ms. X was a Twi’lek.” Another boy said, “Yeah, but Ms. Y was dressed as Obi-Wan, but she had a Kylo Ren light saber and that pissed me off.” There’s just no pleasing seventh grade geeks.
Happy last week of school, teachers! We appreciate you! May there be a large margarita in your future.
NOTE #1: This is an old book review. I read this book at the beginning of 2013 and wrote the review on Goodreads shortly after. However, I just discovered that the review had been accidentally deleted at some point, so I reposted it and am sharing it here too.
NOTE #2: While I gave the book 4 out of 5 stars, I would give the movie the book is about 15 out of 5 stars. No, I don’t want to hear your objections regarding math. It gets 15 out of 5 stars. The end.
NOTE #3: I just found out that the movie this book is about, as well as a new documentary about the movie, is coming to theaters this summer. (!!!) I’ve already bought my tickets to see it again. Find the city closest to you and go buy yours NOW. You can thank me later. Go to this website for info. Seriously, buy the tickets BEFORE you finish reading this post. I don’t mind.
NOTE #4: It is a complete coincidence that I found out about the movie showings exactly thirteen years to the day after I saw the movie the first time. When I realized that, it kind of gave me goosebumps.
Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made by Alan Eisenstock, Chris Strompolos, and Eric Zala
May 30, 2003.
It was exactly seven years before my wedding day, though of course I didn’t know that at the time. It was also the last day of school of my fourth year of teaching, followed by the annual end-of-school teacher boat party. My current boyfriend (not future husband) had bought tickets for us to see this weird movie at the Alamo Drafthouse. It was a remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark done by kids and it was showing at midnight. Oh and the kids who made the movie, grown up now, were going to be there. I thought it sounded pretty cool, and I still had the stamina of a girl in her twenties, so I agreed.
That Friday, I got up at 6:30AM, herded hyperactive middle schoolers through the talent shows and yearbook signings and award ceremonies of the last day of school, went to the teacher luncheon and end-of-year meetings, partied on Large Marge the Party Barge with a bunch of other summer-crazed teachers, grabbed a shower and a Starbucks chai, and met my boyfriend at the Alamo Drafthouse to see this crazy movie. When we arrived, there was a long line outside the theater. We joined it.
I was excited that summer vacation had finally arrived, excited to be free and out on a date, excited (sort of) to see the movie. But I was also really, really tired. The line grew longer. The wait seemed endless. The movie, it was obvious, was going to start a little late. By the time we got to our seats and ordered food (one of the many beauties of the Alamo Drafthouse) I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes open for the whole thing.
Then this guy came on stage and started telling us what an amazing treat we were in for. He explained that these boys in Mississippi in the 1980s fell in love with Indiana Jones and decided they wanted to remake Raiders of the Lost Ark. And they did. Shot for shot. And it took them eight years to do it.
He had my attention.
I was still skeptical though. Even when he told us that they really did set their basement on fire for the bar scene, even when he revealed that they actually got a submarine to use for their shoot, even when he promised that this was, in fact, the greatest fan film ever made, I still thought I was going to be seeing some little kids playing “movie” in their mommy’s living room. Cheesy.
And then the movie started. And I was blown away.
The movie itself was incredible and then afterwards listening to Eric Zala and Chris Strompolos talk about it brought tears to my eyes. It was just so apparent that I was witnessing something magical, not just on film, but in front of me in the lifelong friendship of the creators. I didn’t get home until after 3:00AM that night, but it was all worth it.
You can ask anyone– my husband, my friends, my family– I have been talking about this thing ever since I saw it. So when I found out that this book was coming out, I couldn’t wait to read it. This book is awesome. Rarely will you find a story as endearing as this one. No, it’s not the best literature in the world. But after ten years of wondering how they made the boulder and who did their special effects and what kept them going for so long, I finally held the answers. Their story is as amazing as their movie. However, I’m not sure it would be for someone who hasn’t seen the film. So what you need to do, right now, is find out if there is going to be a screening anywhere within 200 miles of where you are. And then go see it. And then read this book. And then see the movie again and let your jaw drop appreciatively in honor of what these kids accomplished. And then wonder, as I did, how they managed not to kill themselves in the process.
The only complaint I have about the book is that it lacked images. I wanted pictures of the kids, the house, the basement, the mess, the beautiful storyboards that Eric drew for each shot. Maybe they’re saving those for the next book. If so, I’ll buy that one too.
A couple of years ago, during my week of 10 Writing Tips in 5 Days, I wrote a post called “Join the Club” about becoming a member of writing organizations and attending events and going to conferences. At the time, I was talking to myself as much as anyone else, because I was still a newbie at the whole networking thing and I needed that push to get involved.
Luckily, I took my own advice and got out there, and I’m so glad I did. I’ve grown more as a writer, learned more about the publishing business, and met so many more people than I ever could have by staying in front of my computer. Now that I have a few conferences under my belt, I want to share my…
Ten Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Conference Experience
#1: Plan Ahead.
Personally, I love planning. Anything that involves a new notebook and different colored pens and schedules (ooo, schedules!) gets me all in a tizzy. But even if you’re not a super-nerd like me, it’s still a good idea to make some plans before you go.
Why bother? There are a few reasons. First, break-out sessions sometimes fill up. Hopefully you’ll be able to get into the ones you really care about, but if you don’t, you should have a back-up plan. Also, sometimes there just isn’t time to do the planning once you arrive. This Saturday I attended the SCBWI Austin conference, and it was ten hours of jam-packed inspiration. There were short breaks between events, but I spent them talking to people, asking questions, perusing the book store, or eating cake. (I highly recommend attending conferences where they serve cake.) I could have used my time to read through all the presenter bios and panel discussion options, but I’m glad I didn’t have to. Reading the info online beforehand meant time for more networking, more shopping, and more cake.
#2: Wear comfortable shoes.
Every time I prepare for a conference, I get out this really cute pair of heels that I own but rarely wear, put them on with my conference outfit, stare at myself in the mirror, and smile. Then I put them back in the closet and get out my flats. You’re going to be on your feet a LOT. Be good to yourself. Also, bring a sweater.
#3: Bring Business Cards.
Things I’ve learned about business cards:
They come in handy, especially for people like me who have difficult-to-spell names. It’s a lot easier to just hand over a card than to try to spell out my email address in a noisy room.
Think about what you want on them. I don’t have my full address on my cards, but I did recently add “Austin, TX” because I found that when I was out of the state, people connected to my hometown. As I’ve mentioned before, Austin is a thriving literary community. When people find out I’m from here, they mention the Texas Teen Book Festival or ask questions about the Writers’ League of Texas or start conversations about SXSW. I realized that having my city on my card is another way of connecting with people.
Here’s a cool trick I learned at my very first conference: Carry your business cards in your badge holder and you’ll never have to fumble around in your purse or pockets again.
#4: Reconnect with old friends.
The best thing about going back to conferences a second time is reconnecting with people you haven’t seen since the last event. Facebook is great for staying in touch, but there’s nothing like LOL-ing (L-ingOL?) in real life, so make the time to track down old friends and catch up.
#5: Make new connections.
It feels great to have friends by your side at a conference, but don’t spend all your time with them. Move around, change seats, venture off alone. Remember how you got those friends in the first place and introduce yourself to new people so that your support system con continue to grow.
#6: Take good notes.
When the conference first begins, it will be tempting to think, “I’ll remember this… how could I forget it? It’s so inspiring/useful/timely! But what you don’t realize is that you have several more hours and/or days of inspiration and advice ahead of you. You won’t remember everything. Take notes. I err on the side of excess. I’ve always been the kind of person who learns best by writing (writing things down commits them to memory thereby making the actual notes both moot and essential), so I fill many pages with writing when I’m at a conference. It’s okay though, because one of my favorite things to do is to go back through those notes later. Good notes let you relive the experience, which is like getting inspired all over again. Also, some will disagree with me here, but my advice is to ditch the computer. Bring something lightweight and easy to carry around all day.
Me taking notes at the 2016 SCBWI Austin conference – Photo by Sam Bond, sambondphotography.com
#7. Step outside your comfort zone.
Hopefully the conferences you attend will offer lots opportunities for learning in your field/genre, but even if they do, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. I write middle grade books, poetry, short stories, and horror, so these are the topics I’m drawn to. But I’ve attended panels and presentations on nonfiction, memoir, and romance, and came away from all of them with valuable information and ideas. It’s good to view the writing life from a different perspective. Plus, you never know when you might be inspired to write in a new genre.
#8. Just step outside.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be, well… uncomfortable. Meeting new people and talking about your work and being bombarded by information can be overwhelming. For some, simply attending the conference takes an act of courage. So be good to yourself and take a short break when you need it. If you’re staying at the hotel where the conference is taking place, retreat to your room for five minutes of alone time. If you don’t have the sanctuary of a hotel room, go outside. Step out into the sunshine or rain or night breeze. It only takes a few deep breaths to rejuvenate you for another round of extroversion.
#9. Follow up.
All those great notes you take won’t do you any good if you ignore them when you get home, so be sure to go back through and follow-up with the people you met and the ideas you jotted down. I usually end up with a long list of people to thank, people to connect with on social media, books to read, websites to visit, and writing ideas to implement. I recommend waiting a day or two before jumping in to these lists, but no longer than a week. You want the information to still be fresh on your mind.
#10. Be fearless.
Many writers are introverts who would prefer to stay home in their yoga pants and never venture out into the big scary world of conferences and networking, but if you make the leap, you’ll learn that writing conferences are filled with people just like you! This is your tribe. Embrace it. Talk to people, ask questions, be the best version of yourself. And when it comes to meeting agents and editors, remember that they are people too. Not just people. Book-loving, writer-loving people. They want to meet you just as much as you want to meet them. You can do it. Get out there.
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Got a conference tip to add to this list? Share it in the comments!
Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made by Alan Eisenstock, Chris Strompolos, and Eric Zala
Carie Juettner 