Posted in Reading

Marketable Mashups: The World Needs These Books!

This is the time of year when everyone is posting lists of books they’ve read. But what about all the books we WANT to read? And more importantly, what about all the books we WISH we could read, but we can’t because they haven’t been written yet?

I’m a big fan of cool musical mashups. Give me Glee, give me Pitch Perfect, give me more more more of that awesome dance scene in A Knight’s Tale. TV crossovers are fun too. I get a kick out of seeing the ER doctors guest star on Friends, and that episode of The Simpsons with Mulder and Scully from The X-Files is still one of my all-time favorite pieces of television. So… why not apply this cross-contamination amazing plot blending to our favorite books? I mean, come on, who WOULDN’T want to read these future best-sellers?

10 Literary Mashups That Need to Be Written ASAP:

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* On THE ROAD

A beatnik narrates his carefree travels through an apocalyptic landscape.

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* Something WICKED This Way Comes

One Halloween night, a carnival comes to Green Town, Illinois, bringing with it a misunderstood little girl named Elphaba and a cast of talking animals who sometimes break into song.

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* Emma Eyre

When witty, precocious young Emma becomes governess at Thornfield Hall, she tries to play matchmaker for grumpy old Edward Rochester by reuniting him with his wife, Bertha, but things do not go as planned.

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* We Have Always Lived in the House of Leaves

Constance and her sister Merricat live in a house that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside with their insane uncle who continually writes his memoirs over and over again, sometimes backwards, sometimes upside down, sometimes with only one word per page.

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* Anne of Green Eggs and Ham

Desperate not to be sent back to the orphanage, an orphan girl attempts to endear herself to her new family, school, and town by offering everyone she meets a unique home-cooked meal.

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* The Martian Chronicles of Narnia

Four children discover a magical wardrobe that leads to the harsh landscapes of Mars. Will the children succeed in colonizing the red planet? Or will they succumb to the Great Loneliness and perish?

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* The Lord of the RING

A Hobbit named Frodo receives a mysterious videotape that warns him he will die if he doesn’t journey across Middle-earth to cast it into the Cracks of Doom.

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* Life of Pie

When Alice’s Aunt Polly dies and leaves her famous pie recipe to Lardo the cat, Alice goes on a quest to learn the delicious secret, which takes her on a 227-day journey in a rowboat with Lardo.

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* Knuffle Bunnicula

Trixie adores her beloved stuffed toy, but when plush vegetables turn up with their stuffing removed, her parents begin to wonder. Could Knuffle Bunny be… a vampire?

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* Gone with the Wind in the Willows

An epic Civil War drama about the lives, tragedies, and tangled love affairs of a mole, a badger, and a toad.

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Ok, people, let’s make this happen. Get to writing.